A nice girl - to - be

  Welcome to the early days of the second sem in the second year which that yeah I already got a lot of things happen to me during my early degree life also can be considered as my early adult year. I know, I am gonna learn more about this life in the future, I don't know If had learn enough but these days, I was in the middle of confuse feeling about myself. About who I actually want to be, how nice I am want to be towards people, how care I am want to be towards people and a lot more.

  I think if anyone can understand me maybe... every time we enter a new life especially a new place.Its always get u a fresh feeling which you can restart everything about yourself, learning from the past and wanna do better. I WAS THERE. Honestly, it's been so great, the fresh feeling, the positive feeling of committing yourself in everything just to find a better version of yourself, finding the new vision of life to make you keep going. Do everything that you like, and the things that you think you always wanna be.

  YOU CHANGED, to the person you always dream to be. A NICE GIRL, which keep silent and patient for everything. Before this, you always hate yourself for being kinda selfish person, maybe.

I could not describe this but I know I got a better of heart-sense these days. I know I kinda love people more real this days, being more welcoming people in heart these days, more honest, more caring, bullshit reduce. As a conclusion, I know I am a better lover, but still not good enough.

 Thanks to people that make me, I mean they are not doing that intentionally, but still, thanks. 

  Time-to time, a nice girl should not stay when there are finally something that make her hurts silently. Maybe not a nice girl anymore when you starting to being tired to stay nice towards some people that keep hurting you inside and pretend that they never hurt you. Maybe, your bullshit still bullshit, the only way to forgiving is fading from the people. Sometimes you gotta choose to love yourself even maybe people talk that you are the one that bullshit. 

 I don't know , I am done, I just hoping that someday I gotta find someone that actually think me nice without me need to hurt myself to love them.

  I hope someday , the true love is true and come to me. Maybe, If I deserve it. Honest love , thats all what I want, from the future partner.

 HAHAHA  obviously I am talking about such a love life thing hahaha.